


Purgatorio

by thecumberbinch



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Drabble, Episode: s12e01-02 Spyfall, F/M, Spoilers for Episode: s12e01-02 Spyfall, some dark doctor vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22193056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecumberbinch/pseuds/thecumberbinch
Summary: But when is a monster no longer a monster?Oh, when you love it.The Doctor watches Gallifrey burn again.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 101





	Purgatorio

**Author's Note:**

> quick drabble whipped up between essay work. Enjoy!
> 
> find me on tumblr: @softiestarks

Aside from the carnage in front of her, she feels an inferno begin to spread from the darkest crevasses of her mind. What is she so afraid of? Why does she try so hard to rid herself of anger? She knows it does not work. It only builds, the pressure of that ugly emotion throbbing at her temples, waiting for her to release it.

In those quiet moments, she knows what she is afraid of.

She is afraid of doing the same.

She is afraid of the unknown, the permanence of her decision. Once she begins, where does she stop? Anger burns like an untamed fire; wild, consuming. There is no water to put out a fire that burns without the need for oxygen. It already has enough fuel to burn for centuries. _Maybe this is what drove him mad_ , she thinks, _maybe his anger became too much for him to bear_. She’s been inside his mind only a handful of times; he was always better at keeping up his mental force field: a careful skill that was a blessing and a curse. His thoughts were his own, locked away from the hive mind they all shared, inadvertently constructed his own mental prison, all those emotions building up; banging against his skull, demanding freedom from their solitude. Centuries of callousness and prickly solitude made him a sadist. What has it made her? Is she not the same person, just better at repressing, better at pretending?

Perhaps that is why she is so cruel to him. There is no doubt that he’s committed a laundry list of atrocities, but the psychological warfare they’ve waged on each other for centuries has leveled the playing field.

She could kill him; she _should_ kill him, the monster that he is.

But when is a monster no longer a monster?

Oh, when you love it.


End file.
